


Midgardian Courting Rituals

by haku23



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Thor ships it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-31
Updated: 2012-08-31
Packaged: 2017-11-13 06:04:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/500306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haku23/pseuds/haku23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve wants to date Tony, Tony wants to date Steve. Thor tries to help that happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Midgardian Courting Rituals

“STEVEN!” Thor yells from across the room and he really doesn't think that he'll ever get used to that no matter how many times Thor does it. He approaches quickly, all 200 pounds of him.

 

But he had only been going through the motions of the sun salutation-Tony and Clint had snickered but when they'd both spent the rest of the night lying on the couch after he'd convinced them to join him-so he straightens up again. “Something the matter?”

 

He should know better than to think that something is wrong. Thor has proven himself to be the most social of them all(Tony doesn't count because Tony is paid to be social and spends most of his time in the workshop besides that) and the way he's holding up strips of paper makes Steve think that he's got another 'outing' in mind. The last one had been okay, and the one before that, and the one before that but while the dames-women Thor tries to set him up with are nice...he's got his eye on someone a little closer to home.

 

“I require your presence at the movie theatre this evening! My lovely Jane has a friend who has been bewitched!”

 

Steve very nearly doesn't ask what the hell that means but curiosity wins out, “bewitched?”

 

“Indeed, she said that a witch cursed her with a 'dry spell'. My beautiful Jane said that perhaps a date with you, Captain, would set her spirits right again.”

 

He really wishes he hadn't asked. For all that he had a reputation of being a prude he knows what a dry spell-the guys had all complained about it over in France and well, Steve's entire life had amounted to one. But he can't imagine just going to bed with a lady he'd just met-he isn't quite that desperate.

 

“Uh...”

 

“He can't,” Tony's voice comes from the doorway, “PR event that night. Cap and Iron Man only, that sort of thing.”

 

Steve tries and probably fails not to look too relieved at Tony's appearance. He gets a smirk in return for whatever is on his face before Tony strides over, “but tell Jane if her friend needs any help with dry spells I'm an expert.”

 

That sends a rush of jealousy he shouldn't be feeling through him. Tony didn't belong to him, they weren't going steady or anything. He could go to bed with as many ladies as he wanted-he'd said he would 'make up for lost time' anyway after Pepper had left him and Steve can't say he doesn't believe that. Tony probably doesn't want to get into another relationship so soon anyway. Especially not with a man. And isn't that a mood killer?

 

“Don't look so disapproving, Cap, I'm sure the women at the gala will be all over you.”

 

He's sure they will be too if the last time they'd had such an event is anything to go by. His entire night had been spent in the company of a constantly changing line of women-all wanting to know exactly how much he could lift with those arms of his or, as one woman had asked, if he'd ever...Well, it's too lewd to repeat, really. By the end of the night he'd retreated to the corner with Bruce and tried to look not like Captain America. Tony of course had spent the entire time chatting up women, dancing, drinking too much. Steve had almost broken a glass when one of the girls' hands went into the back pocket of Tony's too expensive dress slacks which had been when Natasha had dragged him back onto the dance floor claiming she wanted to dance with someone who would keep their eyes and hands off of her chest. It'd been incredibly difficult not to notice certain things after she'd pointed them out but she'd just laughed at him.

 

“Come on, I need you to test something for me in the lab,” Tony's hand slips around his waist and Steve fights against the blush. It's not as if no one ever touches him but there's a difference between someone clinging to him in the midst of danger and someone casually pulling him along by the waist.

 

“Oh. Sorry Thor,” he says over his shoulder because Tony is being adamant, 'come on' and 'hurry up' falling from his lips like leaves in fall.

 

Thor smiles as if he's suddenly discovered something. Steve hopes it isn't what he thinks it is.

 

~~**~~

 

The next time Thor tries to set him up on a date he's sitting in the living room reading a book on, well, it doesn't matter because Tony hasn't come home yet and it's late and he'd called the office asking if Tony had had some sort of late meeting set up for today but they'd told him no. He's not _worried_. Tony isn't a dame(though he's sure Natasha would beat him upside the head for thinking that) or a kid so he doesn't see the need to be worried. He's just kind of wondering where he'd gotten to. Maybe a date with some lady. 

 

He's reading the third paragraph on the page for the fourth time when Thor flops down beside him, “greetings, Captain.”

 

He's thankful for the distraction from the ill fated attempt at reading so he smiles, “hi, Thor.”

 

“I cannot help but notice you are not busy at this time and so I would like to extend an invitation to you to join myself and my dear Jane at the Midgardian drive-in.” 

 

Steve had read about drive-ins of course but neither he nor Bucky had had a car then anyway so he very nearly says yes until Tony flops down on the other side of him, slings his arm over Steve's shoulders, “actually he was just waiting for me to get ready. Got some business to attend to. It's family...game...night down at the orphanage. Sorry I'm late, honey, got held up in traffic.”

 

His lips twitch into a smile-he'll hold Tony to that and he's sure Tony knows that but kids love Iron Man even more than Captain America and for all of his bravado he knows that the philanthropist part of the whole genius, playboy line isn't just a careless addition. 

 

“Hurry up, Cap, we've got Monopoly to play, put on your star spangled bodysuit.”

 

He turns his head and that had been a mistake because he's close enough now that the smallest movement would have his nose brushing Tony's. There's no point in fighting the blush this time, it's already spread across his cheeks and Tony's breath smells like coffee and booze. Awful. Steve looks down, focuses on something other than how easy it would be to close the distance between them, to kiss him and run. 

 

When he pulls away after what might be close to a minute he sees another knowing smile on Thor's face. 

 

~~**~~

 

The third time Thor asks him to go on a date he's in the kitchen sketching the view from the window. Tony is in the workshop as usual. They had actually ended up going to an orphanage to play board games with kids though it had turned into a 'throw things at Captain America and Iron Man to make them do cool moves' competition by the end of the night. Steve had been gracious in his loss and Tony had brought him out to a diner afterwards. His fingers had brushed Steve's across the table as he gloated about how Iron Man was the kid's hero of the future so Steve hadn't minded the replay of their 'duel'. They'd arrived back at the tower well after midnight-Steve had tried to push from his mind the thought that he was dating Tony Stark and Tony had shown up on Live! With Kelly with a pretty blonde woman sitting in the audience the week after. That had kind of helped the dating thoughts from his mind. 

 

“Captain, you seem melancholy. Might I interest you in dinner with myself and my beauteous Jane?”

 

He looked up. Did he really look that sad?  _Get it together, Rogers. No sense acting like a love sick puppy._ “Sure that's alright with Ms. Foster?” 

 

“Verily! She has often expressed an interest in your physique!” 

 

“Sure... Guess it couldn't hurt,” Steve replies, packs up his supplies with a smile. It isn't as though he has anything else to do and Thor doesn't make offers lightly. 

 

He shoves down the disappointment though that Tony doesn't appear at the last moment to whisk him away to a gala or movie. 

 

They're in the restaurant-he should have expected an all you can eat buffet and yet he hadn't-when Thor slams his hand down on the table, apparently disturbed by something on an incredibly personal level. And Steve knows it can't be his pile of plates because Thor's is bigger than his is. “I find Tony Stark's absence objectionable!”

 

Jane looks amused, like she deals with this sort of thing all the time which she no doubt does and has just kind of learned to deal with it. 

 

“He was working pretty hard down in the workshop when we left.” 

 

“Indeed, however my propositions of dates has always been enough for him to sweep you from your feet, Steven. Why has he failed to do so?” 

 

Jane gets to her feet, mouthing 'oookay' as she points in the direction of the bathroom and goes. Steve raises his eyebrows in a way he hopes will convey his confusion without him having to stop eating the surprisingly delicious food in his hands. 

 

“And to bring another suitor with him to Live! With Kelly Rippa! I find his actions in poor taste, do you not?” Thor turns to the people in the table behind theirs, “do you not as well, Midgardian?” 

 

The woman he'd set his sights on nods slowly-Steve tries to give her an apologetic smile but Thor has already continued, “he is courting you and yet he continues his debauchery! Where is his honor, Steven?”

 

“I don't think he knows we're dating, Thor. I haven't told him.”

 

“Why have you not informed him of your wish to be his beloved, Captain? You must call him now and ask him to be your partner!” Thor slams his fist on the table again, clearly riled up, before pulling his phone out of his pocket. It looks like a child's toy in his large hands.

 

“I-...That's, that's not really...”

 

“Come, I will help you along this path. There is no need for nervousness, Steven, a man with your admirable physique and courage would make a fine Midgardian boyfriend to him!” 

 

Sometimes he wonders if Thor just talks like that to mess with them or if he just talks like that all the time. He thinks it might be both. “I'd prefer if it were somewhere...” he looks pointedly at the people around them and lowers his voice, “more private.”

 

“Of course...” Thor beams, as though he's just been told some great secret, “we will return to my darling Jane's Manhattan apartment and you may tell him there.”

 

He'd really just prefer to go home and wallow in embarrassment but maybe Thor has a point. He's not exactly that scrawny kid from Brooklyn anymore and even if Tony says no...Well he doesn't really want to think of that. He'll probably say no. Tony has never shown an interest in men before and while he'd gone out a few times on what might have been considered dates by other people(and Steve) they hadn't kissed. The time after the diner they'd lingered, Tony's hand had caught his wrist, stroked the pulse there but Steve had stepped back before Tony got uncomfortable from the no doubt lascivious gaze Steve had had levelled on him. 

 

Oh.

 

“I think I'm going to head home, actually,” he blurts out, throwing a wad of cash down on the table he hopes will cover his half of the food and turning on his heel. 

 

“If you love him you must run to him, Steven!”

 

He wonders for a second who had let Thor watch South Park but it's pretty obvious that it had probably been Clint. It doesn't really matter anyway. 

 

Steve manages to keep his cool until he gets outside the restaurant and then he's running because that'll be faster than catching a cab. It feels like something out of a romance movie and it's stupid but he keeps running anyway. 

 

It takes him less than 10 minutes to get back to the tower sprinting and he tears through the thankfully empty lobby to the elevator. That takes all of fifteen seconds for all it feels like minutes and then finally he stands in front of the workshop. His knuckles rap against the glass a few times before JARVIS takes pity on him and just opens the doors. 

 

“Tony?” 

 

The place is quiet which goes against the norm so he's convinced that Tony has gone out until he catches sight of something vaguely Tony shaped leaning against a car. His cheek is pressed to the door and for all that Tony loves those damn cars Steve is pretty certain that even Tony can't work when he's sleeping. His fingers are curled loosely around the wrench beside his folded up legs and Steve takes a second to commit the sight to memory before slowly heading over. 

 

“Tony?” he calls again, lower because he's hoping that he'll be able to get him upstairs to bed without actually waking him. But calling him gives JARVIS the excuse that 'Captain Rogers attempted to rouse you'. He's an AI but they're kind of in the whole taking care of Tony thing together. Best not to make an enemy of the system that controls your hot water after all. 

 

“Mm?” Tony grunts and he glares at the car for a second as if it's personally offended him before sitting up straight, “what's...uh...What's up, Cap?”

 

“I-Just...” he says in one breath, frowns at himself and crosses his arms over his chest, “you fell asleep so I thought I would bring you upstairs.”

 

“M'fine,” Tony waves his arm loosely, eyes already drooping again, “thought you were uh...at the thing with Thor.”

 

Steve shoves his hands in his pockets next, “I wanted to see you.”

 

“Somethin'...wrong?”

 

“No! No. No. I just wanted to...” and he's not a dame so Steve shouldn't be stumbling over words like this, “I haven't seen you in a couple days. That's all.”

 

“Oh. Yeah. Pop a squat, Steve. You're making me nervous. Brooding over there.”

 

Dummy beeps at his side and holds up what looks like it could have been a prototype of Steve's shield although it shouldn't still exist. He takes it, turns it over in his hands and Tony squawks. 

 

“I'm going to sell you to a community college, gimme that you worthless pile of...Not you,” he holds out his hand for the thing but Steve shakes his head, still looking down at it.

 

He catches Tony's gaze, “This some sort of prototype?” 

 

“Just an experiment. In uh...making...things why don't you give that back to Dummy and we'll go upstairs. Watch a movie? I heard it on good authority that you haven't seen Alien.”

 

Steve thinks that he's had about enough of aliens but agrees anyway. If he's lucky he'll be able to coax Tony into going back to sleep. Before they leave he hands the 'experiment' back to Dummy who beeps cheerfully at him if robots are able to emote. 

 

Loading up the movie takes all of two seconds but Tony takes longer to set himself up on the couch. Like he's making a nest. The pile of blankets takes up a good portion of the large couch however Tony still plops down right next to Steve, encased in a cocoon. “Central air makes this place too cold in the summer.”

 

“I think you're cold because you're tired, Tony,” he smiles as Tony snuggles in closer as though he's doing it unconsciously to get closer to Steve's warmth. He has always ran hot since the serum. 

 

“Me? I'm fine. Not tired. Sleep is for the week,” his words are slurred though. It won't be long. Not like this. 

 

“Sleep's for people who wanna stay sane.” 

 

You're gonna like this movie. Ripley's awesome.” 

 

It's a really bad time but he lets the words tumble out anyway, “Tony, I like you.”

 

“I like you too, Cap.”

 

“I mean...I like you more than a guy usually likes another guy.”

 

“Liar,” Tony grumbles, shoves at Steve's shoulder with his own. 

 

“What?”

 

“You wouldn't even lemme kiss you.”

 

And he'd expected to hear that but it still feels like he's been hit with a signboard saying 'you're an idiot' anyway. He puts his arms over Tony, pulls him closer, “thought you didn't wanna. Thought you'd just wanna be friends.”

 

“Can we make out now cause I'm like...10, 12 minutes away from passing out here and I'd like my last waking memory for today to be of myself making out with Captain America. 'd be real great.”

 

“You sure?” 

 

“Oh my god what did I just say? Come on, make outs, let's go before Thor gets back and tells us what a wondrous...something-”

 

“Midgardian courting ritual-”

 

“Midgardian courting ritual this 'watching films about aliens' is.”

 

Despite being a caterpillar Tony still manages to knock him off balance. The opening of the movie plays in the background but Steve doesn't hear it and by the time Thor arrives an hour later they're both already asleep, Ripley fighting on-screen in spite of their inattentiveness. 

 

~~**~~

 

Thor glances down at his phone then to Jane who, as always, is the most beautiful of Midgardian maidens. 

 

“So, is he coming?” she asks.

 

“Nay, my dearest Jane, he has a date.”

 

She pulls him down on top of her and sighs, “oh thank God.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! : D
> 
> Oh yeah, this is based on this prompt http://tonysteve.tumblr.com/post/30545681073


End file.
